Pattaya, A Dream Come True

You can picture me now, sat on the plane, the take off call has been made.

A twelve hour flight, a taxi ride, I shall soon be getting laid.

So what have I left behind me, what was my previous life?

Everyday, sat at home watching tv, with a fat and nagging wife!


The landing couldn’t have come quicker, I just wanted to get off the plane.

I was like a kid in a sweet shop, but this time with only myself to blame.

The taxi weaved is way along the motorway, Pattaya would soon be here.

With a fist full of dollars and an open mind, trust me I had nothing to fear.


So now I’ve arrived in Pattaya, finally checked in, my room is perfect for me.

And now at last it’s time to hit the bars and clubs, and see what’s ahead for me.

I decided to do what most people do, jumped on a taxi, take me to the Six.

With over 1000 girls all waiting for me, I was sure to find my fix.


As I walked the famous road, all kinds off suggestions, were thrown my way.

I didn’t know what way to look, you should hear some of the things the girls and ladyboys would say.

Scantily clad girls, all baying for my attention, screaming come sit and drink with me.

Some offered further incentives, breakfast, even a BJ was offered for free?


Next I find myself sat at a bar, a pretty girl smiling, stroking my leg.

Her affection became more intense, I offered to buy her a drink, she didn’t have to beg.

In a sudden spasm, her head jolted back, looking up at the roof, her gesture quite clear to see.

Apparently they had a some nice rooms upstairs, which she really wanted me to see.


So climbing the stairs, I wasn’t sure, had I bolted the gate too soon?

Was this going to be a starfish experience, or would she take me to the moon?

Needless to say, I traveled afar, to the moon and back for sure.

And one thing was for certain,she knew I would definitely be back for more!


I said my goodbyes and walked to Beach Road, I needed to sit down and have a think.

What should I do now, I’d emptied my tank, maybe it was time for just a drink.

By now it was early evening, the clubs were getting ready, the night ahead would be great.

So without taking to long to decide, I hit Soi Seven and Soi Eight.


Some great little beers bars,as well as a few agogo clubs, it was better than I thought.

Chatting to the girls, having fun, no idea how many drinks I bought?

I decided it was time to move on, the beer was having an effect.

I wanted to check out Walking Street, and had no idea what to expect.


No sooner had I thought it, I was stood in Walking Street.

So many girls outside, inviting me inside their club to take a seat.

Some clubs were electric, the atmosphere was great, I was in for a good night.

Girls dancing the night away, their famous shuffle, left right, left right.


I had a few drinks, enjoyed the company of many girls, the drinks were flowing fast.

I guess I knew I had to slow down soon, if the night I was too last.

So having paid my check bill, and with money left, I headed out the door.

I headed to the freelance heaven, ready to give it one more shot and hit the nightclubs once more.


With spirits guzzled, bottles emptied, its was fast becoming a blur.

I said to my new found friend, I wanted to leave, well I think it was a her!

By now jet lag, beer and tiredness had ganged up on me, it was really hitting me fast.

I was in such a state by now, one thing was certain, I knew I couldn’t last.


So, apparently I wasn’t safe, to make my journey home.

She insisted that she help me, and that I shouldn’t be alone,

So off we went, or so I thought, but first she needed food.

They seem to need to eat, no matter what time of night or day it is, and I didn’t want to be rude.


Finally we reached my room, I was excited and had all sorts running through my head.

Next thing I knew, the morning light beamed through my window, damn you comfy bed.

She woke, got dressed and said goodbye, I asked her if we had fun.

She smiled nicely, gave me a big hug and said, go out today and go enjoy the sun.


So how many of you have done the same, have woke up without a clue.

As to knowing how good your night was, figuring out what the hell did you do?

Well it’s all part of life’s pathway, and this pathway is packed full of fun.

So as I was told to do, like a good little boy I am off to enjoy the sun!


Until the next time……